First of all I have a small group of you following me. However, I had to share it with you guys, which is cool but maybe I can get more people later. I got a little feedback via facebook, which I will respond to in this post. I like the feedback and challenge my readers to post in my blog comments section to spur further conversation among each other. Let's try to legitimize this shit! I'm gonna break down the blog into three parts now. Media Review. You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? and lastly a How to Pass Life section.
Media Review
Previously on 'Deuces are Wild'... we talked about music streaming websites. How did everyone like that? has anyone tried them out? Likes, dislikes, already knew about it? Let me know if you've got something better. One of our most loyal readers shared a wonderful app that allows you to use Grooveshark on your phone for free. Look up Tinyshark in your app store.
On this episode of Deuces are Wild I'm gonna talk about recent movies I've seen. I'm also gonna introduce a new grading system. I'm gonna steal the Rotten Tomatoes percentage meter, but I'm gonna put a twist on it. I will have one percentage for our EA fans, that stands for Easily Amused and a second percentage for the CW fans, which stands for Critic Wannabe. I like to think I am a bit of both, those of you that know me will agree. How do you know if you're and EA or CW you ask? Here's the breakdown. EA fans are fans that don't care about the reviews before they go see the movie. Usually they will go see a movie based on the actor and if the trailer looked cool enough. Most likely EA fans don't know or don't care about things like cinematography or a sound track. On the other hand CW fans are people that will do endless research before going to see a movie, they don't care if the entire cast has won academy awards and a trailer sure as hell isn't going to persuade them. CW fans are very observant of plot holes and are usually keen on quality cinematography and dialogue is very important to them. So now be completely honest with yourself and figure out which category you fall into.
Our first film to review is Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Now get ready for a shocker, I think this movie was the best of the trilogy. Why? Because Michael Bay the Director finally figured out that he has no idea what dialogue is but knows that he has mastered the CGI art of 40ft tall mechanical giants running through Chicago and turning it into the baron waste land we call Detroit. First of all, the plot was simple with no twists or crazy complex back stories of ancient aliens or anything. Bad guys wanna enslave humanity, bad guys outnumber good guys 70 to 9, good guys save the day. Simple. However the last 40 minutes was absolute non-stop action. AWESOME. My only complaints are, bring Megan Fox back, PLEASE! Rosie Huntington-Whiteley looks nice but we just got down graded. Secondly, Michael Bay spends $300 million dollars to make Transformers 3 and can't give $10,000 to a veteran for military consulting. Being in the military I had to laugh at some of the flaws. Overall very entertaining.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon EA: 92% CW: 65%
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Due to popular demand, today's portion will be dedicated to assholes who voice their political views via bumper stickers. You know who you are. Let's start with the Right and work our way to the Left. We all know how bad the oil situation is, and yes I agree with you but you just put an 8 inch sticker on your $40,000 car, come on. "OBAMA: One Big Ass Mistake America" This bumper sticker is childish, I don't find it all creative, I like to sound smart and intelligent when I insult my competition. Abortion stickers have no place on your car or in the public. That is a very touchy subject and when I come across those Pro-Choice assholes it just ruins my day, so lets call a truce, I don't wanna stab someone because of a bumper sticker and in return I won't put Pro-Life stickers on my car. Now we're working are way to the Left, these people are crazy about their bumper stickers. Ranging from Legalize it to Bush is a Nazi. I guarantee there is a statistic out there that proves that Liberals put more bumper stickers on their cars than anyone else. I think the leading reason is they don't practice good economics thus they can't afford nice cars and therefore they spice up their 2010 Toyota Prius they bought with they're Cash for Clunkers money by putting ridiculous amounts of shiny stickers on it. Can we all agree on two things though, stickers are relatively permanent right? So you can take off your Kerry Edwards '04. And for our cars sake let's just leave presidential election stickers out. Secondly, the most appropriate stickers are the Support our Troops stickers, Classy, Tasteful and Non-Opinionated. I don't wanna sound like I am totally bashing bumper stickers here because trust me I love a good laugh, a few of my favorites are "Mean People Suck" "Shit Happens" "Horn Broken Watch for Finger" "Nice Truck, Sorry About Your Penis" you get the idea. People please think before you put some stupid ass sticker that we all have to stare at while listening to Neil Boortz; because everyone listens to him right, stuck in 7am traffic. And just so everyone knows, the most over-rated bumper sticker of all time is that fucking COEXIST sticker. DAMN IT! THAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS!
HOW TO PASS LIFE
Until I can come up with more inspirational and deeper stuff I think I will just add some video clips that give good pointers on life.
#1 Find someone you can share Silence with.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3lY10mQmhg&feature=related
#2 Get Married to that Person
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAReS2JnJ18
#3 Talk like a Man.
I'm sorry I couldn't embed this video.
As an EA blog reader I would rate Blog #3 a solid 98%. I agree the worst of ALL the stupid ass bumper stickers I have ever seen is the Coexist one. Trying to coexist with Muslim fanatics is like Jews trying to get along with Nazis. There is only one winner in that scenario.
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