Deuces are Wild #6

Well, How is everyone?

I am struggling with this whole blog thing.  I almost quit.  I don't know how to make it more appealing, I am open to suggestions. It has been over a week since my last post and I have learned two important things since then.  1) Don't post on Saturdays because no one will read it.  2)  Keep it short because it is too burdensome to read a long blog.  So here is my new modified blog.  Let me know what you think.

MEDIA REVIEW

I saw this movie a couple weeks ago.  Before I started blogging but figured a handful of you still might be interested in a review.  Along those lines, if you are unsure of ANY movie what so ever and would like it to be reviewed just let me know below and I will try and have a solid review or at least a response by the next post.

'Super 8', written and directed by J.J. Abrams.  This movie takes place in 1979 small town rural Southwest Ohio (cool huh?!).  A bunch of tweeners with their hip 8mm hand-held cameras run around shooting Zombie movies.  I only wish I was that cool at 14 years old.  A United States Air Force train from Area 51 crashes and BOOM the town explodes in a nuclear holocaust, end of the movie.  I'm just teasing.  The events that ensue after the train wreck leave the town in a frenzy while the U.S.A.F. tries to clean up their mess.  To be completely honest I felt like this movie was identical to 'Cloverfield', which was J.J. Abrams alien suspense-sci-fi-mystery in New York City.  Both movies have incredible cinematography, audio, lighting and thrilling mysterious story lines. However, I left disappointed and unsatisfied from both movies.  I don't know if J.J. Abrams just can't finish strong or what?  'Star Trek' was phenomenal, 'Super 8' just left more to be desired.  

Super 8        EA:  72%        CW:79%

I am sure that a few of you are wondering what I thought of the recent Harry Potter finale.  Well, I can tell you that I am a huge fan of "the Lord of the Rings" and "Star Wars".  But, I have always been skeptical of the Harry Potter franchise, I have seen them all and been entertained.  This past week before the release I took the time to watch a Harry Potter movie every night to get completely caught up and refreshed.  I understood the series more by doing this and in turn have grown to REALLY enjoy this series to the point that it now can be placed on the very difficult to reach pedestal of "Epic Franchises" like 'Star Wars' and 'LOTR'.  The movies grew in maturity and intensity as Harry Potter and his faithful companions did.  A lot can be said about J.K. Rowling and her books, but the transition from book to film was brilliant and one hell of a ride.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 could not have ended a 10 year, 8 movie long franchise any better.  Simply put, it was the most intense, brought more closure, EPIC FINALE EVER.  PERFECTION.  

HP Deathly Hallows        EA:  98%        CW:  96%

Now a lot of you may think I am Bat-Shit-Crazy for that kind of rating.  My response is... "If you never liked Harry Potter to begin with, then what the Hell to you care what I rate it?!"  For those of you that loved Harry Potter then you'll understand.  You people in the grey area just need to watch them all again in a relatively short period like a couple weeks and go see the finale before it leaves theaters and you too will understand where I am coming from, for I too was once in the grey area and have been shown the light. 

TOP TEN COUNTDOWN          WAR MOVIES

#10     300

#9       We Were Soldiers

#8       The Patriot - The Second Mel Gibson film to make it on to my list of top ten War movies of all time.  I am very partial to this movie for a few reasons.  First of all there aren't a lot of gritty films that cover this time period.  The movie was extremely accurate on multiple levels from characters, military tactics to politics. If you haven't guessed I am clearly a fan of Mel Gibson, but in this film his portrayal of a father who has truly lost everything and will stop at nothing to see the vengeance of his sons is just one of the most moving, cringing, moments in any movie.

#7        Patton - George C. Scott plays one of America's greatest Generals, General George S. Patton.  This film shows us the tactics and strategy inside a brilliant military mind.  George S. Patton although a Christian believed in the idea that great military leaders were reborn again and again to command their men in greater battles throughout time.  George S. Patton was a man that demanded the best from his men and his opponents, so much so that he lost combat command of his men in WWII shortly after he was seen slapping a man he had accused of cowardice.  His outspokenness of politics and foreign policy would plague his success again during the post-war efforts.  However fleeting Patton's success, the film is a strong and powerful display of a great leader in WWII.

#6      The Hurt Locker - 

"The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug."

Winner of an Academy award in 2009, the Hurt Locker is about the addiction of war. Jeremy Renner plays Sergeant First Class William James who is apart of an elite EOD (Explosive Ordinance Disposal) squad. The Sergeant serves multiple tours, even with a wife and child he still favors the rush of the job over his life at home. This is a fantastic look at our current conflict. With an abnormal look into what war really can do to young men.

#5        The Great Escape - Loaded with an all-star cast, this 1963 film was destined to be a classic.  Based on the true story of a Nazi prison for Allied officers.  'The Great Escape' is about the largest and most successful mass escape of any prison in WWII.  The film has its serious moments but is given brief bits of comic relief delivered by the only fictional character in the film, played by Steve McQueen.  This was a family classic in my household.  And I think this is the most under-rated movie in our countdown.

#4        Glory - This is arguably one of the greatest films about the American Civil War.  Based on a true story about Colonel Robert Shaw who suffers heavy losses at the Battle of Antietam and is given leave back home to Boston.  Upon returning home, President Lincoln passes the Emancipation Proclamation.  The Colonel returns to duty with command of the First All-Black Regiment.  With his child-hood friend as his second-in-command and a nearly all volunteer force of determined blacks, the Colonel leads the attack on Fort Wagner.  Though the battle was a complete failure, the message sent was not.  Neither is this movie.    

I was going to finish off my Top Ten Countdown of War Movies, but figured I would leave everyone with a cliff hanger.  #3, #2 and #1 will all come on the next post.  As for our next Top Ten Countdown category, does anyone have any suggestions?

TIP/LINK OF THE DAY

Ladies, always losing your user manuals?  Fellas, always throwing away your user manuals?  Well, if you ever wished you had kept it.  Here is a massive archive.

the-manuals.com

GADGET OF THE DAY

On The Rocks.  Skip the ice; Serve your drinks on the rocks.These innovative soapstone cubes were designed by Andrew Hellman, a big fan of single malt scotch, who wanted to chill his spirits without diluting them. After much research, he came up with the idea of using natural soapstone to chill drinks due to its softness (won't scratch the glass) and its unique ability to retain temperature for extended periods of time. Milled in Perkinsville, Vermont by the oldest soapstone workshop in the United States.Simply chill the stones. Add three to your next drink, let stand for five minutes and enjoy.

http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/whiskey-stones-gift-set

LAUGH OF THE DAY

The Recession : The 10 Worst Things!!

By ROB GOTOBED

1. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

2. Exxon-Mobil has had to lay off 25 Congressmen.

3. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!!

4. A truckload of Americans has been caught sneaking into Mexico.

5. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

6. I saw a Mormon polygamist yesterday with only one wife.

7. A picture is now only worth 168 words.

8. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

9. Romanian television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

10. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

I hope that everyone has found this post of Deuces are Wild to be more entertaining and easier to read.  I look forward to reading everyone's comments and suggestions below.

Stay Classy.  Deuces, OUT.

Deuces are Wild #5


How is everyone?


I want to start off by thanking everyone for the Birthday wishes, you have no idea how much it means to get the simplest 'Happy Birthday' via Facebook, when I live so far from all of you.  Thank you so much.


I haven't been able to blog as frequently as I would like and I am sorry for that. A lot more time goes into this than it looks.  


I am gonna start off addressing a couple of issues with the blog.  First off, if you haven't read all the posts yet, they can easily be reached by clicking the 'older post' button at the bottom of each post.  You don't have to though,  seeing as how 'Deuces are Wild #4' is the only really good post so far.  However, I recommend reading any old post you may have missed because I make references to previous discussions.  For example there were a lot of questions about my movie rating system.  For those of you that know just skip down past the next paragraph.

 "I'm gonna steal the Rotten Tomatoes percentage meter, but I'm gonna put a twist on it.  I will have one percentage for our EA fans, that stands for Easily Amused and a second percentage for the CW fans, which stands for Critic Wannabe.... EA fans don't care about the reviews before they go see the movie.  Usually they will go see a movie based on the actor and if the trailer looked cool enough.  Most likely EA fans don't know or don't care about things like cinematography or a sound track. On the other hand CW fans are people that will do endless research before going to see a movie, they don't care if the entire cast has won academy awards and a trailer sure as hell isn't going to persuade them.  CW fans are very observant of plot holes and are usually keen on quality cinematography and dialogue is very important to them.  So now be completely honest with yourself and figure out which category you fall into."

I am glad that my readers have been getting involved in the comments section of the blog.  I enjoy hearing everyone's opinions and suggestions and encourage readers to check back in to see if I or other readers have responded to your comments.  I was especially surprised to see the amount of controversy I ignited with the Casey Anthony bit I wrote.  I love a heated debate and enjoyed reading what everyone thought, it seems I was the minority with my feelings on the trial.  However I couldn't help but notice that everyone was in agreement that the bitch is guilty, that cracked me up.  Furthermore, one of our readers has brought it to my attention that the new Taco Bell XXL grilled stuffed burrito is not only an abomination but a blatant attempt and failure at the Chipotle burrito.  Please take note.


MEDIA REVIEW 
I am very excited about this portion of the post today.  I am gonna review a great movie I saw this weekend, a couple apps in your local App Store and top it off with a couple trailers I am really excited about.


'Horrible Bosses' was an absolute riot.  Directed by Seth Gordon, and stacked with an All-Star cast, Charlie Day (Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Jason Bateman (Juno, Arrested Development), Jamie Foxx (Ray, Law Abiding Citizens), Kevin Spacey (Usual Suspects, American Beauty), Colin Farrel (Alexander, In Bruges), Jennifer Aniston (Marley & Me, Just Go With It) and the blossoming Jason Sudeikis (Hall Pass, SNL).

Once again I am reviewing a movie that chose simplicity and it paid off for them.  As you can tell from the trailer these three friends want to kill their bosses.  Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrel and Jennifer Aniston all play the evil employers of the rookie murderers Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis while Jamie Foxx plays the murder consultant.  The actors all share screen time well with no competition for a lead character.  The actors all seemed to have a great sense of improvisation when needed and make the events that unfold very believable and most definitely hilarious.  This fresh comedy certainly belongs up there with 'the Hangover' and 'Wedding Crashers'.

Horrible Bosses          EA:  89%       CW:  79%

Next I am gonna review two apps from the apps store that are both available on the iphone and Android phones.  Most of you have probably already seen them or currently use them if so feel free to add your two cents at the end.  

First app up for review is FourSquare.  I find this app very entertaining and I don't even have that many friends to play with.  This app does however conflict with some of your fundamental concepts of privacy.  The concept is quite simple, check into any location from your phone.  Locations range from your house, work, taco bell, movie theater or even LaGuardia International Airport.  You share your location with your friends on Foursquare and you all compete for "Mayor" (person who frequents that location most).  Link FourSquare to your Facebook account and let everyone know where you are.  Don't freak out, if you don't want people to know where you are then don't check into that location, it's not automated.  But, just for controversy if anyone with any means (i.e. the government, major corporations) really wanted to know where you were, as long as your cell phone is on you, they could find you, trust me.  We live in that age and there is nothing we can really do about it.  The only minor issue I have found with this app, is it seems to be fairly difficult to add friends that aren't signed up or don't have their FourSquare linked to Facebook.

Second app up for review, which I am sure you all have, Words with Friends.  Simply put, its Scrabble with your friends.  A turn based game that has virtually no time limit, just send your next word whenever you have spare time, days can pass between each turn if needed, so I recommend playing multiple games with multiple friends at one time.  Useful tips, go second if you can because its easier to reach the Double Word or Double Letter tiles that way.  And, 'Fuck' is not a word apparently.  My username is Mr. Grinch if you ever want a challenge.  Feel free to share your usernames with each other in the comment section.


In this portion of the Media section of the blog I will post a couple links to some things I am really looking forward to.


MUSIC
Red Hot Chili Peppers new album called 'I'm With You'.
http://redhotchilipeppers.com/

Kenny Wayne Shepherd's new album called 'How I Go'
http://www.kennywayneshepherd.net/

MOVIES
The first clip I have below was indirectly suggested by one of our readers that recently posted it on their Facebook and I thought I would share this with everyone.  This movie looks very impressive, its called 'Another Earth' which as of now is giving me a cosmic 'Donnie Darko' love-drama vibe.

ANOTHER EARTH

The Second clip I have selected is pretty self explanatory after watching the trailer.  Based on true stories of Saddam Hussein's son the Black Prince Uday Hussein, I assume this movie will be the new 'Scarface'.

THE DEVIL'S DOUBLE

The Last clip I am sharing with you is an original comedy from the Director of 'Zombieland', one of my favorite movies.  I have high expectations for this comedy, I would say that this film looks to be a spawn of 'Superbad' and 'Pineapple Express'.

30 MINUTES OR LESS

TOP TEN COUNTDOWN          WAR MOVIES

#10     300

#9       WE WERE SOLDIER - Directed by Randall Wallace, starring Mel Gibson.  This is one of the best Vietnam war movies ever, up there with 'Platoon'.  Far superior to that liberal over-rated political joke 'Apocalypse Now'.  'We Were Soldiers' tells the story of 400 U.S. Soldiers led by Lt. Colonel Hal Moore (Mel Gibson) that found themselves completely surrounded by 2,000+ North Vietnamese at Landing Zone X-Ray.  The film captures most beautifully, one of the hardest things human beings have to do, sacrificing ones own life for another.  The U.S. soldiers at landing zone X-Ray laid down their lives for each other in the face of being outnumbered and outgunned.  During such a politically charged time period these soldiers were fearless and knew what had to be done.

WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS

Normally I will try and bring up a topic that we can converse about intelligently in this portion, much like I did last time with my complaints about the Casey Anthony trial. However, sometimes I just have things to bitch and moan about and this area on the page seems like the best place to do it.  Today I am gonna bitch about stupid fucking drivers. UGH!!!

Highway driving.  Somewhere along the years, the United States just completely lost any and all driving intelligence.  Which is odd if you ask me considering it is our primary means of long distance ground travel.  Across the pond, Europe has an extremely sophisticated rail system and yet from what I have experienced their highway driving is exponentially smoother. Let me get to the root of my complaint about highway driving.  Let's assume you are on an Interstate with 3 lanes going in your direction.  This is how it should appear.  First off I apologize for the quality of my Paint artwork. Secondly, it makes more sense if you read it from the Right Lane to the Left Lane.

I hope that all of that made sense.  This allows for faster and safer driving conditions.  It also will contribute to a rapid decline in Road Rage induced heart attacks, which I feel is the most likely way I will die.  I have dreams of being able to cruise up and down America's glorious interstate at virtually any speed I desire without feeling like I am gonna run Apu the 7/11 clerk off the road for doing 0.5Mph faster than the speed limit in the Left Lane.

HOW TO PASS LIFE

Relaxation.  A lot of people struggle with this concept but I am going to lay down a few guidelines I have learned and try to follow.  

1)  Buy the most comfortable mattress you can afford and spare no expenses.  Studies show that the average person spends a third of their life sleeping.  Why not get the best out of that third?  Wake up energized.  Wake up in a better mood.  Enjoy laying down.  Enjoy a complete night of sleep.

2)  I know the woman that read this will completely ignore this advice because pain is beauty.  But, if your on your feet all day or run a lot buy the most comfortable pair of shoes you can find.  Your feet are the foundation of your body.  Happy feet = happy legs = happy back = happy you.

3)  Enjoy the little things in life.  

Have a cocktail after work.
Don't tolerate commercials on the radio.
Puppies, Sunny Days, Stars and Ice Cream are all considered 'Little Things' and should be enjoyed as often as possible.
Thank people that hold doors for you, and return the favor.
Get extra-cheese on your Burger and T.G.I.Fridays.
Solitude is different than loneliness.
The feeling of finding a $5 bill in your pants, leave it there to feel that feeling again next time you put them on.
Laughing so hard you cry.
Sit out in the sun, Vitamin D is proven to improve your mood.

Remember to enjoy the Little Things in Life.


Stay Classy.  Deuces, OUT.

Deuces are Wild #4

Howdy Neighbors, 


I hope everyone had a wonderful fourth of July weekend.  After all the booze and fireworks I want to remind everyone what Independence Day is really about.  I will use text direct from the Declaration of Independence.  And two quotes I found very inspirational and fit well with the holiday.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."     -The Declaration of Independence-

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it." ~Thomas Paine

"Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty."  ~Louis D. Brandeis

I hope that even though all of you couldn't here me reading these quotes to you, you still caught the emphasis I was placing on the key points.  Let's move on to the fun stuff.


I love that some of my readers are really getting involved with these posts, it makes it more fun for me and I will in turn try and make it more fun for all of you.  I know I am tagging some of you on facebook to the blog only because I don't know of any other way to draw your attention, so I ask two things.  One, if you stop to read my blog and want to comment, PLEASE comment in the comments section of the blog and not on facebook, this legitimizes my operation.  And two, if you read it and don't want to comment because you think it's a waste of time and it hinder your 7 hours of facebooking or porn watching time, reach up your skirt, grab a pair and comment anyway, to further the conversation but also so I can get a good idea of how many people are reading this.  A simple "Hi" or "Nice" would do.  Thanks.


MEDIA REVIEW
For this portion of my post I want to talk about two movies I saw recently.  First, I saw 'Bad Teacher' with Cameron Diaz, Jason Segal and Justin Timberlake.  'Bad Teacher' was good for a few laughs, Cameron Diaz demonstrated that Tina Fey isn't the only funny woman in Hollywood.  Justin Timberlake showed us that he is only funny when supported by Andy Samberg from SNL and the Lonely Island.  However, Jason Segal from 'I Love You Man' and 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' really proved is value as a leading character.  Jason Segal was actually supporting cast in 'Bad Teacher', he made us laugh every time.  At the end, my friends and I all agreed that the movie would have been better if Jason Segal had more screen time.  Overall a good rental if you haven't seen it yet, and by rental I mean, download it and watch it on a rainy day as if you actually rented a movie; come on, that's so 2003.
Bad Teacher          EA:  68%        CW:  35%


The second movie I want to talk about is '13 Assassins'.  This movie is from Japan and YES, you have to read subtitles.  Directed by Takashi Miike, winning a few Art House and Independent film awards.  The movie takes place in feudal Japan just as the way of the Samurai were coming to an end.  A tyrant has come to rule the region and local clans devise a plan to assassinate the leader.  To sum it up, have you ever heard of the Battle of Thermopylae?  300 Spartans take on the entire Persian Army, well in 13 Assassins; can you see where this goes?  13 Samurai take a stand against a 200+ strong army.  I think the director wanted to catch the battle in real-time, because the last 45 minutes is NON-STOP ACTION!  It was awesome, I was sweating when the credits rolled.  When I grade this I am assuming all of you can read and I won't deduct points from the movie because of subtitles, I know that's a turn off for a lot of you.  But if you haven't read a book since 'Of Mice and Men' in high school, this is worth reading the subtitles.
13 Assassins          EA:  95%        CW:  97% 


To follow up on a request from one of my most dedicated readers I am gonna add another short portion to the Media Review section, a Top Ten List.  However to make things last a little bit I will start with #10 and count down every post till we get to #1 and then explain my justification for those movies in their order.  Just a reminder, these are my personal favorites.  If you want the FAGs'(Film Actors Guild) top ten, just Google it.


TOP TEN COUNTDOWN     WAR MOVIES


#10     300 - Directed by Zack Snyder, starring Gerard Butler.  This was one of Hollywoods first attempts of turning a Graphic Novel into Film.  I think it was perfectly executed.  It was beautifully filmed and took "film liberties" in all the right places without totally discrediting historical accounts.  It was a perfect recipe of mythology, folk lore, history, art and total whoop ASS.
                               EA:  95%        CW:  72%




WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS


The Mother-F^#King Casey Anthony verdict.  America's justice system has failed us yet again like it did with O.J. Simpson, Gary Condit and John and Patricia Ramsey.  In my opinion until judges and jurors can pull their heads out of their asses, we need to adopt the Hammurabi Code. Here are some examples:

If a builder builds a house for someone, and does not construct it properly, and the house which he built falls in and kills its owner, then the builder shall be put to death. (Another variant of this is, If the owner's son dies, then the builder's son shall be put to death.)

If anyone brings an accusation against a man, and the accused goes to the river and leaps into the river, if he sinks in the river his accuser shall take possession of his house. But if the river proves that the accused is not guilty, and he escapes unhurt, then he who had brought the accusation shall be put to death, while he who leaped into the river shall take possession of the house that had belonged to his accuser.

If a man puts out the eye of a patrician, his eye shall be put out.

If a man knocks the teeth out of another man, his own teeth will be knocked out.

If anyone strikes the body of a man higher in rank than he, he shall receive sixty blows with an ox-whip in public.

If anyone commits a robbery and is caught, he shall be put to death.

If a judge tries a case, reaches a decision, and presents his judgment in writing; and later it is discovered that his decision was in error, and it was his own fault, he shall pay twelve times the fine set by him in the case and be removed from the judge's bench...

Maybe after they get a taste of cold hard justice then we can, tone it down a bit and just adopt Texas' justice system.  I understand "supporting evidence" and "innocent until proven guilty" etc... but I mean come on! Really?  Getting it this wrong, is like putting all your money on the Bengals for the Superbowl this year, knowing the NFL might not even play!  I think South Park got it the best with this parody.

Butters' Very Own Episode
Tags: SOUTH
PARKmore...

HOW TO PASS LIFE
People often find themselves on road trips or at the very least on the road long enough to need a good CD.  Observations I have found are, that the radio in general sucks, for a couple of reasons.  First, you're limited by range and then have to go scanning to find new music, but do you stop on the first song you come across that's OK, you might be missing a better song so keep scanning, but that was the best song.  Do you remember what radio station that songs was on again?  By the time you find it again, the songs over.  The whole process just sucks.  The other reason radios suck is, commercials.  They say 50 minutes of music for every hour, but that's only counting the 10 minutes of sponsored commercials, not the 6 minutes of station identification and 6 minutes of the DJ jibber-jabbering, trying to verbally tell me what the babe of the day looks like in his foreign hillbilly tongue.  So the best alternative to radio is Satellite Radio.  I had Sirius Satellite Radio for over a year and noted two major things.  The good was, an awesome station selection with great music and no commercials.  The bad was, Sirius was ridiculously expensive, compare $96/ year for Netflix to $275/ year for music, but if you have the disposable income I recommend it.  So if Sirius is too expensive and you're tired of scanning for radio stations, that brings us to the "road trip mix-tape".


1) I hope to God it's not actually a tape or for that matter a CD.  These are playlist helpful tips.
2) Think of your audience.  If your driving to Grandma's with family, try not to play "the Hate In Me" by Mudvayne or "Fuck the Police" by NWA.  And even though they're your best friends they will definitely rag on you for life if they find out your guilty pleasure is 98 degrees.
3) Tailor your music to your destination.  The same songs you use to get amped up before your run don't have the same affect if you're trying to get excited for the beach.  That doesn't mean jump straight to Jimmy Buffet, because I will be the first person to throw that album out the window.  But, maybe some mellow Incubus, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jack Johnson or some John Mayer are just to name a few.
4) Specific songs to avoid are Gag songs and Top Hits.  If you want top hits just turn on the radio.  Most likely you've already heard it 50,000 times too many because no body kills a great song faster than the radio.  And gag songs like Weird Al Yankovich, Star Wars Rap or the infamous FRIDAY by Rebecca Black really weren't THAT funny the first time and certainly won't be funny after you hear it for 12 seconds and laugh about it. 
5) Make your playlist 5 times longer than you think.  Often you'll find yourself skipping through some songs because what you thought was a good idea turned out not to be or the mood isn't right.  And don't forget your taste in music isn't the same as everyone else in the car.  So skipping the Peter Frampton deep track that you love so much but no one else gets is OK because you brought plenty of extra tunes.


Stay Classy. Deuces, OUT!

Deuces are Wild #3

Howdy neighbors.

First of all I have a small group of you following me.  However, I had to share it with you guys, which is cool but maybe I can get more people later.  I got a little feedback via facebook, which I will respond to in this post.  I like the feedback and challenge my readers to post in my blog comments section to spur further conversation among each other. Let's try to legitimize this shit!  I'm gonna break down the blog into three parts now.  Media Review. You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? and lastly a How to Pass Life section.

Media Review
Previously on 'Deuces are Wild'... we talked about music streaming websites.  How did everyone like that?  has anyone tried them out? Likes, dislikes, already knew about it?  Let me know if you've got something better.  One of our most loyal readers shared a wonderful app that allows you to use Grooveshark on your phone for free. Look up Tinyshark in your app store.

On this episode of Deuces are Wild I'm gonna talk about recent movies I've seen.  I'm also gonna introduce a new grading system.  I'm gonna steal the Rotten Tomatoes percentage meter, but I'm gonna put a twist on it.  I will have one percentage for our EA fans, that stands for Easily Amused and a second percentage for the CW fans, which stands for Critic Wannabe.  I like to think I am a bit of both, those of you that know me will agree.  How do you know if you're and EA or CW you ask?  Here's the breakdown.  EA fans are fans that don't care about the reviews before they go see the movie.  Usually they will go see a movie based on the actor and if the trailer looked cool enough.  Most likely EA fans don't know or don't care about things like cinematography or a sound track. On the other hand CW fans are people that will do endless research before going to see a movie, they don't care if the entire cast has won academy awards and a trailer sure as hell isn't going to persuade them.  CW fans are very observant of plot holes and are usually keen on quality cinematography and dialogue is very important to them.  So now be completely honest with yourself and figure out which category you fall into.

Our first film to review is Transformers: Dark of the Moon.  Now get ready for a shocker, I think this movie was the best of the trilogy.  Why? Because Michael Bay the Director finally figured out that he has no idea what dialogue is but knows that he has mastered the CGI art of 40ft tall mechanical giants running through Chicago and turning it into the baron waste land we call Detroit.  First of all, the plot was simple with no twists  or crazy complex back stories of ancient aliens or anything.  Bad guys wanna enslave humanity, bad guys outnumber good guys 70 to 9, good guys save the day.  Simple.  However the last 40 minutes was absolute non-stop action.  AWESOME.  My only complaints are, bring Megan Fox back, PLEASE! Rosie Huntington-Whiteley looks nice but we just got down graded. Secondly, Michael Bay spends $300 million dollars to make Transformers 3 and can't give $10,000 to a veteran for military consulting. Being in the military I had to laugh at some of the flaws. Overall very entertaining.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon     EA: 92%     CW: 65%




YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?

Due to popular demand, today's portion will be dedicated to assholes who voice their political views via bumper stickers.  You know who you are.  Let's start with the Right and work our way to the Left.  We all know how bad the oil situation is, and yes I agree with you but you just put an 8 inch sticker on your $40,000 car, come on.  "OBAMA: One Big Ass Mistake America"  This bumper sticker is childish, I don't find it all creative, I like to sound smart and intelligent when I insult my competition.  Abortion stickers have no place on your car or in the public.  That is a very touchy subject and when I come across those Pro-Choice assholes it just ruins my day, so lets call a truce, I don't wanna stab someone because of a bumper sticker and in return I won't put Pro-Life stickers on my car.  Now we're working are way to the Left, these people are crazy about their bumper stickers.  Ranging from Legalize it to Bush is a Nazi.  I guarantee there is a statistic out there that proves that Liberals put more bumper stickers on their cars than anyone else.  I think the leading reason is they don't practice good economics thus they can't afford nice cars and therefore they spice up their 2010 Toyota Prius they bought with they're Cash for Clunkers money by putting ridiculous amounts of shiny stickers on it.  Can we all agree on two things though, stickers are relatively permanent right? So you can take off your Kerry Edwards '04.  And for our cars sake let's just leave presidential election stickers out.  Secondly, the most appropriate stickers are the Support our Troops stickers, Classy, Tasteful and Non-Opinionated.  I don't wanna sound like I am totally bashing bumper stickers here because trust me I love a good laugh, a few of my favorites are "Mean People Suck" "Shit Happens" "Horn Broken Watch for Finger" "Nice Truck, Sorry About Your Penis" you get the idea.  People please think before you put some stupid ass sticker that we all have to stare at while listening to Neil Boortz; because everyone listens to him right, stuck in 7am traffic.  And just so everyone knows, the most over-rated bumper sticker of all time is that fucking COEXIST sticker.  DAMN IT! THAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS!

HOW TO PASS LIFE
Until I can come up with more inspirational and deeper stuff I think I will just add some video clips that give good pointers on life.

#1 Find someone you can share Silence with.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3lY10mQmhg&feature=related

#2 Get Married to that Person
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAReS2JnJ18

#3 Talk like a Man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXD8yOxIPB0

I'm sorry I couldn't embed this video.

Deuces are Wild #2 01Jul11

Good Afternoon Ladies and Gents.

Lets talk music today.  More specifically, websites to stream from.  Everyone has heard of Pandora.  Pandora is OVER.RATED. The concept is nice but they haven't adapted and their mobile app is too buggy.  Here are some better websites that I use daily and why I think they're better than Pandora.

Grooveshark http://grooveshark.com/#/
Grooveshark allows the user to search any song and play it immediately rather than waiting until the fourth or fifth song to hear what you originally wanted to hear.  They can do this because the songs are submitted by the users.  Reason number B that makes it better than Pandora, you can save songs to your account like making an iTunes Library.  And lastly it has a radio function that plays songs similar to the other songs on the playlist exactly like Pandora.  The only con I have found is you have to pay for their mobile app and its not cheap. A whopping $9 a month, forget that! my Netflix account is only $8/month.

8tracks http://8tracks.com/
8tracks is a hit or miss website, you're either gonna love it or hate it.  8tracks is once again a user submitted website where you can pretty much play the song you want on demand.  However, there is a deeper concept.   The music is set up into playlists.  A minimum of 8 songs per list hence "8tracks"  I don't know if their is a max number of songs, but I haven't seen anything higher than 60 songs, average is about 20.  Which is nice if you're only listening to music for an hour or so here and there.  8tracks was originally set up to list playlists that are organized by a mood.  Which is interesting ranging from "lazy rainy days" to "Dubstep to Fuck to", and at first I didn't know how to feel about it.  However I love it, there are so many great playlists and if you don't like it find a new one.  The only con I have with this is the same one I have with Pandora you can only skip three of four songs per playlist.  An app for android is in the makings.

Here is the catch.  Double team the music website.  Use 8tracks to introduce you to new music then search it and save it on Grooveshark.  Both websites are obviously free but who knows for how long.  Get grandfather in while you can.

I love new music, new websites let me know if you find anything!

Stay Classy, Deuces, OUT!

Today's My First Blog Let's see how this goes.

First off, I'm a hypocrite.  I am a stickler  for grammar and spelling when I'm reading other peoples work but when I'm typing I couldn't two shits.  Number two, I like to randomly Capitalize things, I feel it makes those things more important.  C, I haven't figured out what audience I am writing to yet so think of this as a strong PG-13 possibly R rated blog.  Lastly, I will work hard at caring about the quality of my writing and improve my blogging regularly.  I am open to criticism, if i don't agree, then fuck off (that's 1 of 2 F-words for the PG-13 rating.) That's how it works in the real world anyway.

I am new to this whole blogging idea.  I don't know how to get people to read my stuff, I don't know how to make money or if you even can, I don't know if there are any important topics or types of things I should blog about nor do I know the standard length of a good blog.

I will look into more detail and expand tomorrow.  I think I'll start with movies and music because that's common ground.  Then work my way to interesting things I learn about life and stupid people because that's usually offensive and funny and I enjoy reading stuff like that so that means everyone does right?  And lastly I will push everyone away with an open unbiased opinion on politics, NOT! I'm gonna verbally rip these crooks a new one.  But I'm gonna work my way there.  Hone my skill a bit.  Take baby steps.  Rope in a captivated audience.  It's nice to dream big.

Stay Classy, Deuces, OUT.