Deuces are Wild #10

I am terribly sorry that I left all of you waiting so long between posts.  I promise to post multiple times this week.

MEDIA REVIEW

I have seen a lot of movies since the last post, so I will try and get you up to speed on what's hot and what's not.

Despite the abysmal reviews 'the Change-Up' received I still gambled and saw it.  And I think I came out on top.  'the Change-Up' stars Ryan Reynolds; who can only play one role well and yes he plays that character in this film.  And Co-Starring one of my favorite comedic actors Jason Bateman.  'the Change-Up' is a movie that has been done a dozen times before and most all of them are horrible, most notably 'Freaky-Friday' with Lindsay Lohan. However, this film is rated R and doesn't abuse it, but rather embraces it.  A loser ladies man switching bodies with a successful family man, add some hilarious vulgarities thrown around like monkeys chucking their own poo at each other.  It all comes together quite well, for some really good laughs.  

The Change-Up        EA:  78%        CW:  59%

The second film I am reviewing for you today is a foreign film from Hong Kong, that may not be on your radar, if it is cheers to you.  Donnie Yen portrays Yip Man a Kung Fu Grandmaster in South China at the on set of the Japanese invasion of China in 1932.  This biographical story of Bruce Lee's instructor; Yip Man, shares with Americans the Japanese tyranny in South China.  While at the same time using incredible and realistic action sequences to drive the story.  You may be able to find the dubbed English version, however I thoroughly enjoyed it in Chinese with subtitles.  One of the best martial arts movies I have ever seen.  

Ip Man        EA:  88%     CW:  98%

TOP TEN COUNTDOWN          SCI-FI FILMS

Remember, these are my personal favorites.  I chose these movies because I thought they were absolutely mind boggling and or a blast to watch over and over.  I can tell you right now, 'A Clockwork Orange' didn't make it because that movie is not DEEP, not impressive, and is a fucking joke.  Stanley Kubrick is a hack.  Sadly, none of the 'Star Treks' made the list either, I would rather watch CSPAN than hear about Galactic politics between the Vulcans and the Wogneer-creatures.  I also tried to steer away from SCI-FI/ Horror movies and the obvious SyFy Channel movies.  Sorry, 'Mega shark VS Crocosaurus' didn't make the cut.  If any of these movies were on your list than just skip past this section now and save yourself from disappointment.

#10        Children of Men (2010)  Clive Owen's Best.  Original.  Fantastic Cinematography. 

#9          Back to the Future (1985)   Michael J. Fox's Best.  Timeless.  DeLorean.  Doc Brown.

#8          Fifth Element  (1997)   Chris Tucker's Best.  Crazy Fun.  Milla Jovovich side-Boob.

#7          Inception (2010)   Best Cinematography.  Leo's Best.  Christopher Nolan says enough.

#6          Donnie Darko (2001)  Jake Gyllenhaal's Best.  Time Travel.  Hypnotherapy.  Giant Demonic Rabbit.

I bet you can't wait to see what my top 5 are.  I'll give you a hint.  a Foundry, a Falcon, a Clone, a tiny mouth, a really big needle. 

TIP/ TRICK OF THE DAY

How to Go About Tasting Scotch/ Whiskey  The Nose Whisky tasting is done principally with the nose - a far more acute organ than the tongue, although the two interrelate as the sample is swallowed.While there are only four primary tastes, there are 32 primary smells. These are aromatic volatiles, which are detected by a small fleshy bulb called the Olfactory Epithelium, located at the back of our noses and having a direct link to the brain. The Tongue As well as registering the primary tastes, the tongue also detects what is termed 'mouthfeel' - the viscosity, texture and smoothness of the fluid we are swallowing - and 'pungency' (which is essentially an evaluation of pain - from irritation to unbearable - and is also picked up by the nose). In whisky tasting, pungency is particularly apparent in very strong spirit, which may sting your nose and tongue and induce numbness (temporary anaesthesia). So you have to be careful when nosing whisky at full strength - i.e. as it comes from the cask. Flavour Is a combination of three factors: smell, taste and feeling. Our noses detect scents - nuances of flavour from volatile aromatics - and pass this information direct to our brains. Our sense of the smells that surround us are recorded unconsciously, yet smells probably trigger memories more effectively than sounds or sights: they are the most evocative of experiences. With a little practice you can soon learn to break smells down and identify their constituent parts. Putting names to them is more difficult, and will be explored later in this section. Primary tastes are registered by little sensory receptors on our tongues and palates. These are broadly arranged so that sweet flavours are picked up on the tip of the tongue, sour and salt flavours by the sides and middle and bitter flavours at the back. The time it takes to stimulate the different areas of the tongue varies, with the bitter receptors taking the longest, so it is important when tasting to hold the liquid in the mouth and to make sure it coats the tongue thoroughly. GADGET OF THE DAY I'M GONNA NEED A DRUM ROLL FOR THIS NEXT PART.   RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR................... THE AMAZING NOODLE-WEENIE!

How could such a simple concept have taken so long to come to fruition? It’s a noodle, it’s a weenie, and it’s a poor man’s spaghetti and meatballs – it’s the incredible Noodle Weenie!

Move over Apple pie, I think we have a new all American top dish WINNER. Dinner from the food bank just got a whole lot more interesting.

LAUGH OF THE DAY

The Italian Boy's Confession



Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

I have been with a loose girl’.

The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’

‘Yes, Father, it is.’

‘And who was the girl you were with?’

‘I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation’.

“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later

so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’

‘I’ll never tell.’

‘Was it Nina Capelli?’

‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’

‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’

‘My lips are sealed.’

‘Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?’

‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

The priest sighs in frustration.

‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that.

But you’ve sinned and have to atone.

You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.

Now you go and behave yourself.’

Joey walks back to his pew,

and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,

‘What’d you get?’

‘Four months vacation and five good leads.’

Stay Classy.  Deuces, Out.